West Wood Yurts, only 20 minutes' drive from Newcastle, is the ideal campsite for people who don't like camping but think glamping is poncey and overpriced. Perfect our writer then
This is a first: negotiating cowpats on the way to "check in". Welcome to West Wood Yurts, an enclave on a working farm outside Gateshead, where you swap boutique pampering for toilet blocks, designer style for a prettily painted Mongolian ger.
For those of us who hate camping almost as much as the pricey nonsense of glamping, this is a third way. The website's talk of "luxury" is pushing it, but at West Wood you swerve the worst aspects of life under canvas (putting up a tent in driving rain) without it costing a fortune. On arrival staff help transport your gear (bedding, towels etc) to a four- or six-berth yurt using a little truck. On a blustery autumn day, the central log-burner in our felt-lined yurt had already been lit. Outside, thick cloud glowered over Derwent Valley, but inside No 2, it was seriously toasty.
The yurts are well-equipped: IKEA kitchenware; a wind-up radio and solar-powered strip-lighting; mobile phone charging point; a big container for muddy wellies; basic storage space. The futon beds are tolerable, for a couple of nights. It's like staying in a big, high-spec, family tent. Which, crucially, you don't have to bring with you or put up. Did I mention that?
The ideal would be to roll up on a sunny weekend, perhaps as a gang of families, and release the kids into the wild. Guests have free access to the adjacent National Trust Gibside, with its den-making site and play areas. The adults could then put the yurts' enormous cool boxes (they hold 98 cans each, apparently), and small kettle barbecues through their paces. Too boozy? Then, pick up a book from your yurt, perhaps Collins Complete British Trees, and explore the surrounding countryside.
But as it wasn't sunny, we drove to the Black Horse, a spruce, foodist inn in nearby Beamish. Alongside its main menu, it serves a bargain daily special (for instance, corned beef pie, chips and mushy peas for £5.95) and, on this visit, a remarkably fresh pint of boring old Directors (£3.20). "Well-kept beer will always taste good," smiles the barman.
Later, back at the yurt we feast on baked potatoes from the wood-burning stove and bottles of Landlord from the local Co-op. At night, with a few tealights dotted around and the yurt shrouded in silence, it takes on rather magical aura of seclusion.
Yes, having to grab your wellies and a torch to go for a pee is annoying. But the toilet block is immaculate, its (roomy, hot, fairly powerful) showers better than some hotels. A yurt can get cold at night, too. We had a baby with us, so at 4am I was up coaxing the stove back to life. But under a thick duvet, it felt fine. In short, there is little to complain about. For the money, this is a brilliant British bolthole, via Ulan Bator – but only 20 minute's drive from Newcastle city centre.
• Accommodation was provided by West Wood Yurts. For local tourist information, visit newcastlegateshead.com