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A little stone cottage in Newton-in-Cartmel with just one guest room has you at close quarters with your hosts, but fortunately the welcome is warm
You know how you often can't get a mobile signal in your own front room? Yet, somehow, I am walking on an unlit road, in the Lake District, torch in hand, looking for a pub, while following my progress on Google Maps. Somewhere, the god of 3G is laughing.
In all other respects, Newton, near Grange-over-Sands, two hours from Manchester, is the middle of nowhere. Ellenboro House is precisely the sort of remote stone cottage that city types dream of escaping to. Cumbrian Samantha Marsh did just that – in her case, coming home after years in London, partly to run this B&B. Working in hospitality PR, she should know her stuff, right?
Ellenboro only has one guest room. Consequently, it's a bit like staying at a mate's. A chatty, easy-going mate (dogs welcome, incidentally), but still, you're living at close quarters. When I come down to grab a torch, the Marshes – Sam and husband Ian – are in the middle of eating their tea. Breakfast is served in their lounge, and is a good spread (homemade bread, jams, pastries; interesting specials, such as huevos rancheros; rare breed sausages from renowned Grange butcher Higginson's). But the set-up may make some a bit self-conscious. For instance, how could you have athletic sex or a blazing row, when you can hear your hosts moving around downstairs?
On a blustery evening, the welcome is warm. There's tea and cake on arrival, and, in the room, a decanter of port and a cast-iron radiator pumping out heat. One immediate drawback: the bedroom is as large as the bathroom is tiny; the sink more suitable for Action Man. However, such minuses (no full-length mirror; somewhat noisy plumbing; only Prima and Country Living to read) are far outweighed by good things, most of which you wouldn't normally find in the Lakes at this price. There are various teas, fresh milk (Sam "can't stand" UHT), an iPod dock, choice of feather/synthetic pillows, a luxuriously thick duvet, Wi-Fi and a powerful shower. A decent effort has been made with the broadly Belle Epoque antique styling, too.
That night, I planned to go into Cartmel, but Simon "L'Enclume" Rogan's new pub, the Pig & Whistle, hadn't started serving food regularly (it does, now), and it was no night to watch the sun set outside the King's Arms (a treat in summer). With daisy-fresh local beers (£3.10 a pint) and above-par pub grub, Newton's Crown was a good substitute. I'm not sure a puff pastry-topped pie should ever cost over £10, but my steak and ale, with kale and glazed vegetables (£11.95), had a satisfying depth of flavour. Like Ellenboro, it hit the spot.
Travel between Manchester and Grange-over-Sands was provided by First TransPennine Express (tpexpress.co.uk), with fares from £6.
