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Damn it. Damn it all, you little fool. I want a pay rise | Lucy Mangan

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At last we have a working definition of modern Britishness: a people who find it easier to end a relationship than ask for a pay rise

England, my England! Sometimes I just want to crush you to my chest and whisper fervent promises in your ear that everything will be all right, one day, one day soon, my darling, you alternately frightened, furious and dyspeptic little fool! The latest urge to embrace the nation has been prompted by research from the Chartered Management Institute that found that asking for a pay rise is the conversation we most dread in life. Breaking up with someone came in sixth. I think we have finally found that working definition of modern Britishness we’ve been looking for. Better to mash someone’s heart into bloody paste than ask for inflation-linking. I almost admire us.

Related: Ten of the best … ways to get a pay rise

A room-serviced room of one’s own. That’s a holiday

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