From lollies at reception to posh chocs in the bedroom, everything has to be sugar-coated – and I hate it
People worry about the way sugar is pushed at children. But it’s happening to the rest of us, too. Away for work, I book into a cool city hotel, the kind of place you might stay during a mini-break or hen weekend, practical but just a little bit loud, and the hard sell begins the moment I arrive. Hopefully, the management’s message goes, you’ll be having sex while you’re here, and lots of it: outside my room is a soft-focus black and white photograph of a woman’s torso, her thumb already inside the black knickers she’s shortly to whip off; behind her lurks a male figure, also in his pants. But fear not. For the lone (or, perish the thought, lonely) traveller, there is consolation aplenty inside: salted caramels, soft nougat, posh chocolate, vast bags of popcorn, all manner of fizzy drinks, and two bottles – yes, two – of merlot. Go ahead, comes the message: knock yourself out. For what do the truly aspirational care about a little light diabetes?
All these items are presented to me as if to a child. Piled alluringly on the dressing table, their packaging is a version of the mother who says, “Mmm, yummy” to her toddler as she tries to push a plastic spoonful of peas past his protesting jaw. These aren’t, to pinch from those ghastly M&S ads, ordinary hotel treats; these are the most delicious hotel treats ever. The chocolate is gorgeous. The nougat is oh-so-nutty. The caramels are extremely chewy and incredibly decadent. The popcorn is moreish. Even the so-called energy bar is delectable, or irresistible, or something (I’m paraphrasing). Some of their labels are written in big pink and orange letters, designed for the guest who, it would seem, has only recently stopped using flash cards.
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